Subtle Transformations

Inner transformations are so subtle! If we are aware, we can experience transformations moment to moment. But we don't realise the amount of leap we have taken till we compare our progress keeping in view a long span of time; say, our attitude today as compared to a year ago or so. Suddenly we know what it is to mellow down! The information which would have made you jump with wild reactions keeps you calm now because you are able to take a pause and choose not to hurt the other person or because you are fully aware your opinion in the matter will not be taken in the same spirit! Your equations change. Although, the old patterns tend to peep in and sometimes make their way in; but you know how to attend to them - first by seeing that they are patterns and then working on them.

Today I feel quite free if not totally. External events of a certain kind which used to bother me like hell have ceased to affect me. If you give up the sense of owning something; it ceases to disturb you. On second thoughts, what is it in this world that you own? Nothing. One by one you have to drop tendencies,objects, human beings, ET AL..... I can see that things do not make me feverish any more but they do disturb a bit. Ego comes into play.I still have to practice not to react either in words or in thoughts. The inner chattering has to stop. I thank you God for giving me this much - whatever little awareness it is. Oh! How much I have struggled to establish myself in the centre within! Nobody but yourself can establish yourself.

It's only Divine Grace showering upon me; otherwise how could have I consciously chosen to forget the ugliest and still be my loving self? My inner peace and strength keeps me calm and it shows! My attention has shifted and divine process has taught me how to stop giving energy to negative emotions. The results are amazing! There's only peace within. There's patience and faith that things will turn out to be favourable. There's no doubt.Even if there's a slightest one, it's followed by faith and strength. I am surprised to find this new kind of confidence! I had never thought of myself as my own self! Thank God for everything.